Sexologist and family therapist, blogger, author of Wanting Sex Again: How to Rediscover Your Desire and Heal a Sexless Marriage.
Sex is far from pornographic: in real life, you might end up with your elbow in your partner’s hair, experience a cramp, and—let’s be honest—produce sounds and smells that are anything but sexy. Below is a list of uncomfortable situations anyone can find themselves in, and tips for resolving them.
1. Call your partner by your ex’s name
This happens all the time, but that doesn’t mean your current partner will take it lightly. The situation will require emotional processing.
What to do
First of all, apologize and assure your partner that you want to be only with him and that the previous relationship is over.
2. Facial expression during orgasm
As people approach orgasm, they lose control of themselves. And at that moment, they look far from cute.
What to do
Remember, this is a good sign—it shows you’re immersed in what’s happening and your sensations. Only by letting go of your body can you truly enjoy the moment.
3. Gases
One of the most awkward moments in sex is when one partner passes gas. We’re used to feeling ashamed about it. But during intimacy, it’s important to be free and uninhibited, which can be difficult to reconcile with our usual reaction to flatulence.
What to do
Instead of feeling embarrassed, laugh. If you need to, take a short break and remind yourself that you’re only human.
4. Unexpected liquids
Neither menopausal women nor men who had prostate cancer are immune to accidental urination, and breastfeeding mothers may leak milk during arousal. We tend to think of some fluids as sexual and others as not. But the truth is, sex is messy and unpredictable.
What to do
Don’t let excess fluid stop you. Urine is harmless and won’t bother anyone. And breast milk is simply a sign of arousal.
5. Child in the bedroom
No one wants a child to be nearby at that moment. If it does happen, the only thing to do is to avoid dramatizing it.
What to do
Put on a robe, return the child to their room, and answer any questions they may have, then explain what happened in understandable terms. For example: “Don’t worry, no one was hurt. Mom and Dad were just having a special love fight.”
If your child is a little older, you can explain the concept more specifically. For example: “Parents express their love physically. You probably won’t understand it now, but when you’re older, we’ll explain it all to you.”
Still, it’s better not to tempt fate and just put a lock on the bedroom door.
6. Bad breath
Bad breath kills morning desire.
What to do
If the issue is critical, quickly brush your teeth. Or ask your partner to do the same, but in a kind way. Don’t let such trivialities ruin a promising start to the day.
7. Problems with orgasm
Too soon, too late, no orgasm at all, or just not right? It varies, but if the only goal of sex is orgasm, you risk ruining your relationship.
What to do
If you’ve been having trouble achieving orgasm for a long time, consult a sexologist. And if it’s just a fluke, ask your partner how to improve it. Or ask them yourself.
Intimate life, like any other, is fickle and has its ups and downs. Remember that sex can be romantic today, bland tomorrow, and awkward the day after. But if you feel your partner loves you and strives for continued sexual growth, awkward moments between you will be fewer and fewer.
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