Although there are nuances here too.
Justin J. Lehmiller, PhD, a former Harvard professor, writer, and founder of the blog Sex & Psychology, conducted a large-scale study on sexual fantasies involving more than 4,000 people. The social psychologist presented his findings in his book, Tell Me What You Want, and some of them have been published on his blog. Lehmiller found that the Big Five personality traits—openness to experience, conscientiousness, agreeableness, extroversion, and neuroticism—are closely linked to sexual fantasies.
What do people who are open to experience fantasize about?
Inquisitive, imaginative people tend to always seek out new experiences. It’s no surprise that this doesn’t change: they fantasize about almost any scenario, from the ordinary to the unconventional.
What do conscientious and organized people fantasize about?
Lehmiller writes that such people are often inclined to conformism and largely adhere to traditional views. Their fantasies are detailed and specific. They also focus on the environment and conditions in which they engage in sex. However, they think much less about BDSM or taboo topics. Perhaps because in sex, as in other areas of life, they want to conform to accepted norms.
What do extroverts fantasize about?
Both in life and in their fantasies, extroverts crave interaction with others. They more often imagine group sex and think about polygamous, sexually open relationships. Their fantasies are quite simple—they just want to try something new. Taboo topics, however, come up less often.
What do introverts fantasize about?
Here, the opposite is true: fantasies about taboo topics predominate. The reason, Lehmiller suggests, lies in the difficulties encountered when interacting with others in real life, which drives introverts to seek out unusual forms of sexual expression.
What do well-meaning people fantasize about?
They are kind and consider of others and want them to be happy. They don’t think about BDSM, emotionless sex, cheating—or situations where they’re unsure of their partner’s consent, safety, or pleasure. Even in their fantasies, such people consider the interests of others.
What do emotionally unstable, stress-prone people fantasize about?
Neurotics rarely think about group sex, new experiences, or polygamy in general, as if they’re not interested in trying something new and finding new partners. Most likely, there’s too much uncertainty involved, which creates tension. Their fantasies are passionate and romantic. They help them relax and calm down.
How do women’s and men’s fantasies differ?
Men and women have many similar fantasies, but there are also differences. Women often imagine situations full of passion and romance, with more adventure and variety in their scenarios. They also prefer to see themselves as more powerful than they actually are, and they fantasize about same-sex relationships and BDSM more often than men.
Men fantasize about group sex more often than women. Furthermore, their fantasies are much more emotional than many believe. However, unlike the opposite sex, they imagine themselves to be more submissive than they actually are and are more prone to gender role reversal and taboo thoughts.
How do the fantasies of the younger and older generations differ?
Lehmiller also found a link between age and fantasies. Younger reported thinking more about BDSM, while older respondents preferred to fantasize about taboo topics and sex with multiple partners.
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