Why is simultaneous orgasm considered important?
Simultaneous orgasm is a highly hyped phenomenon. In romantic films, the heroes climax at the same moment and collapse onto the sheets, breathing heavily. In romance novels, it’s almost unheard of for a partner to ejaculate before his beloved has finished. And if that happens, it means the heroes simply aren’t made for each other, and the ideal will soon loom on the horizon.
As early as 1926, Dutch gynecologist Theodor Hendrik van de Velde wrote in his book “The Ideal Marriage: Its Physiology and Technique” that in normal and perfect intercourse, orgasms should be simultaneous. To this day, this phenomenon is considered an indicator of intimacy and harmony.
In reality, not fantasy, simultaneous orgasm is more a matter of technique than of soul-to-soul connection. The reason lies in physiology. Men, on average, need 5.4 to 6 minutes from the moment the penis enters the vagina. For women, this time is 13.4 minutes. However, only 25% of women regularly experience orgasm during vaginal penetration. So, synchronization requires some practice and a willingness to adapt to your partner.
Although harmony in a relationship can certainly help achieve simultaneous orgasm, it takes a certain amount of altruism and warmth to stop thinking only about your own pleasure.
What are the benefits of simultaneous orgasm?
If we remove romantic assumptions like “this means we’re made for each other,” one important practical point remains. During and after orgasm, certain processes in the brain plunge a person into a state of euphoria. It’s logical to want to savor this sensation for a few minutes. But if an unsatisfied partner is lying nearby, you need to break out of your stupor and help.
With simultaneous orgasm, you’ll share the euphoria and be able to calmly enjoy the moment. Don’t forget the joy and pride of finally achieving it.
Previously, there were hypotheses that simultaneous orgasm promotes more efficient transport of sperm into the uterus, but these were not confirmed.
Why You Shouldn’t Make Simultaneous Orgasm the Meaning of Your Life
There are few benefits to simultaneous orgasm. However, there are no downsides at all—what’s wrong with any kind of orgasm? The problems arise when you become fixed on the need for simultaneous climax.
This can lead to a psychological condition called sexual perfectionism. Those suffering from it experience anxiety and guilt, lose arousal, and experience pain during intercourse. In short, instead of experiencing simultaneous orgasms, they experience a difficult relationship with sex in general.
So it’s worth taking a more relaxed approach. After all, according to surveys, simultaneous orgasm was observed only occasionally in 38% of men and 35% of women, and never in 12% of men and 21% of women.
How to achieve simultaneous orgasm
You shouldn’t make simultaneous orgasm your life’s goal, but why not try it as an experiment? In most cases, synchronizing orgasms requires the man to slow down a bit and the woman to spur it on. Here’s what you can do.
Don’t neglect the foreplay
If a woman becomes properly aroused during foreplay, it will take her less time to reach orgasm.
Stimulate the clitoris
Only 8% of women regularly experience orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone. This means that without clitoral stimulation, a partner may simply not reach climax, let alone achieve simultaneous release. Therefore, it’s important to remember to caress this sensitive area both before and during intercourse. A woman can caress herself, entrust this to her partner, or rely on sex gadgets for clitoral stimulation.
Choose a comfortable position
The path to orgasm won’t be easy if your muscles are cramping, your limbs are numb, and your joints are aching. Save exotic positions for other occasions, and choose simple and comfortable ones for a synchronized climax.
Use lubricants
Lubricants aren’t just for improving glide. They also come with “special effects,” either delaying or accelerating the onset of orgasm. Accordingly, a man can use the former, and a woman the latter. However, they should be separated by a condom, otherwise there’s little point in such an undertaking.
Conduct some work on the mistakes
Even couples with a long history of sexual intercourse sometimes don’t know each other’s desires or how to make their partner’s experience even more pleasurable. This problem can be solved through conversation. It’s important that the conversation doesn’t devolve into an exchange of complaints, but remains a way to share what each other likes and how sex can be improved.
Don’t be upset
Simultaneous orgasm is like a unicorn in fantasy: it’s not that it’s exclusive to virgins, it’s just very rare. So if you can’t climax simultaneously, that’s okay, that’s normal. Try again next time, but for now, don’t leave your partner in the lurch and help them enjoy themselves.
Leave a Reply