Women in closed groups describe life situations where, shortly after giving birth, sex is the last thing on their minds, and their husband insists on fulfilling their marital obligations; or romantic encounters have been going on for quite some time, and the guy has become angry and irritated with his unapproachable girlfriend, who is reluctant to have sex. Women feel awkward, feeling obligated to give access to their bodies.Internal resistance
The main criterion for refusing intimacy is a sense of internal resistance. Sometimes there seems to be no external reason for refusal—the partner is attractive, the conditions for comfortable sex are in place—but something holds you back. A harmonious sexual relationship with a husband can change overnight due to his infidelity, and no matter how much he repented and apologized, the psyche cannot immediately rebuild. First, it needs to be processed internally, and only then can the former intimacy be restored. And no appeal to marital duty will help here.
Girls often feel obligated because of the beautiful courtship: the guy spent so much money on expensive bouquets and restaurants, and she eats lobsters, but does not seek intimate communication, and only allows herself to be kissed on the cheek.
Here, you need to remind yourself that sex is not a negotiable item (unless, of course, it’s commercial sex), and no amount of expensive gifts or romantic gestures will make a girl feel obligated. If you’re not ready for sexual intimacy, you need to give the relationship and trust time to develop.
The fear of being unwanted, the fear of losing a boyfriend or husband, often pushes women to forced sex: “If I don’t give it to you, someone else will.” This is a deeply unhealthy practice, turning intimate relationships into bargaining chips. If you have problems in your sex life—a lack of desire for sex, a lack of orgasm—you need to find the root of the problem, not just clench your teeth and endure your partner.
Furthermore, a person has the right to refuse sex at any stage – even if the penis is already in the vagina, there is nothing shameful in saying “I don’t want to” and stopping intercourse. Unpleasant sensations during intercourse, a decrease in arousal, or an unacceptable attitude from a partner are all grounds for stopping intimacy.Partner pressure
It’s completely unacceptable in a relationship to insist on practices that one partner finds repugnant. Women often complain about this—men are more inclined to experiment sexually, so persistent requests to try anal sex, threesomes, genital bangs, public encounters, and so on often come from their partners. Women sometimes openly share on social media that they agreed to go to a swingers’ club under pressure from their husbands, but the experience didn’t bring them pleasure, but rather left them feeling ashamed and depressed. Before giving your partner ultimatums, it’s worth considering your own taboos and prohibitions—for example, most men dislike anal penetration, so it’s easy to imagine your partner having equally strong inhibitions. Don’t discount the fears and feelings of others.
If your partner suggests trying some extreme practices, consider whether it’s personal rejection or a refusal driven by fear of judgment. Sometimes people are naturally prepared for more challenging sexual situations, but are deterred by the social stigma attached to certain intimate activities.
Sometimes men try to break down a woman’s resistance by undermining her self-esteem: “You’ll just sit there with your legs clenched shut until you’re forty!” “You’ll just remain an insecure mouse!”
Don’t fall for such base manipulations – someone who cares about a woman will never humiliate her. Respect for yourself and others should be at the forefront of any relationship.
Not wanting sex is normal, there is nothing pathological about it, especially since everyone has different temperaments.Health problems
If symptoms of any sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are detected on your partner’s genitals—condylomas, swellings, or swollen blisters—then refusal should be polite but firm. Your health is paramount, and hoping for a break in the HIV era is definitely not worth it.
And there’s certainly no need to play the martyr, satisfying your husband a week after a difficult labor and the first sleepless months with the baby. During this period, a woman and her psyche are especially vulnerable, and men should simply be patient. After some time, life will return to normal, and even if regular sex isn’t quickly restored, you can find compromises like oral sex and manual stimulation.
Sometimes young girls agree to sex because of societal pressure: it’s shameful to be a virgin at 18, and all their friends have already experienced sexual intercourse. This is definitely a bad reason to sleep with a man – everything has its time, and the psyche and relationship need to mature. Women, like men, should respect themselves, listen to their desires, and have sex only after achieving complete harmony with their partner.
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