Not all girls are willing to engage in oral sex or give a blow job. How can you hint and persuade a girl to give you a blow job?
Many men consider oral sex one of the most appealing ways to express their love and passion. However, not all women are ready to engage in oral sex without discussing it with their partner. A frank conversation with your girlfriend will help her overcome her fear and take this step. You may feel shy and awkward initiating this conversation, but talking about your intimate life strengthens your relationship (even if your girlfriend initially resists) because it requires a certain level of trust. The first step toward oral sex is talking about it, but you need to find the most sensitive way to initiate the conversation.
1. How to delicately touch on this topic
1.1 Be honest, open, and caring when talking about sex. The key to any conversation (not just this once, but in any relationship) is communication. Find out what she likes, what turns her on, what gives her pleasure. While you’re discussing her preferences, don’t forget to mention yours. Intimate conversations should always take place in a suitable setting, and both you and your girlfriend should be involved. Besides oral sex, there are many intimate topics for couples to explore that can lead the conversation to oral sex:
What do you like and dislike about sex?
Do you set boundaries for yourself and your partner?
How often do you want to have sex?
1.2 Try discussing your sexual desires and fantasies together. You might feel awkward starting this conversation, but it’s quite fun and interesting if you agree not to judge each other. What sexual style do you enjoy? What do you fantasize about? What would you like to try sexually? What have you already tried? Understand that this isn’t a formal or serious conversation, but it helps you bond intimately and learn to trust each other. Also, intimate topics make it easier to approach the topic of oral sex:
Make a list of five places you’d like to have sex, even if some of them are unusual or just funny.
You can look through erotic literature or websites like the Kama Sutra to pick up some new positions to try.
Share your secret fantasies and desires with each other. Don’t forget to learn about her desires, not just your own. If you find the time and desire to please each other, this conversation will be much easier and more interesting.
1.3 If oral sex seems a long way off at first, approach the topic slowly. If you really want oral sex but are afraid to rush things, start small. Focus on foreplay, which is the best way to turn your partner on and get to know each other better. Bring up erotic conversations. Cover each other’s bodies with kisses; you should feel comfortable and happy together. After all these steps, oral sex will no longer seem so unattainable but will become a natural progression.
1.4 Regularly discuss your intimate life with your partner. If you’re in a serious relationship, it’s foolish to talk about sex once and never bring it up again. Why is this necessary? Even if the conversation isn’t about oral sex, such intimate conversations are crucial for building trust and strengthening your relationship. Furthermore, it’s much easier to broach the topic of oral sex if you regularly have frank, intimate conversations about various intimate topics.
Once you’re comfortable together, and you want to try something new (like oral sex or something else), ask her.
If you feel like things are getting close to sex, don’t shy away. “Do you enjoy having sex with me?” is a good way to start the conversation.
2. Talk about her feelings
2.1 Be direct and open about your desires. When you start a conversation about sex, don’t beat around the bush or hint at oral sex. If you want her to be open about it, be open too. Remember that your intimate life is as much about you as it is about her.
“I would like to find a way to spice up our intimate life with oral sex.”
“If we feel good together, why don’t we try oral sex?”
“I love it when you go lower, I would like to try oral sex and make it a part of our intimate life.”
2.2 Now give her the floor and listen to her opinion without interrupting or commenting. Even if she doesn’t say exactly what you want to hear, listen carefully to your partner when she shares her thoughts or concerns. Your girlfriend may talk too much or too little. You may not like what she says. But you’ve already told her what you want, and even if she turned you down, she now knows what you want. She will remember your desire, and if you behave respectfully and understandingly, she will feel more confident and trust you. Then, perhaps, she will reconsider your request, but on her own terms.
Remember that all you can do is be honest with her about your desires and listen to her tell you about hers.
2.3 Remember that your intimate life is your shared responsibility, and you shouldn’t be selfish about it. Comments and offers like “I’ll wash the dishes all week if you give me a blow job” won’t build the trust and love that’s so important for a happy sex life. What happens in bed is a voluntary, shared activity, not a favor for some other job (it doesn’t matter what). If you want her to feel relaxed and comfortable with you (it’s much easier to find common ground this way), don’t treat sex like a transaction. Treat it like a confidential conversation.
2.4 Consider the reasons why your girlfriend (wife) might refuse oral sex. Many women find oral sex very frightening. Some panic at the mere thought of having difficulty breathing or choking during oral sex. The woman will feel very vulnerable, and you should understand this. Some women are afraid of doing something wrong and hurting their partner. Without complete trust, oral sex can cause your girlfriend severe anxiety, discomfort, and fear. Believe me, it won’t make things any easier for you if you focus only on your own desires, ignoring your girlfriend’s (wife’s) concerns.
Ask your girlfriend why she’s embarrassed by oral sex and talking about it, and be prepared for her answer. Remember, you probably also feel embarrassed by certain sexual activities at times.
2.5 Ask her what you can do to make oral sex more enjoyable. There are many ways to please each other. Perhaps she’d like you to take better care of yourself or even shave, or perhaps she’d like you to shower together before sex. Perhaps she’d also like to talk about oral sex and think about enjoying oral sex herself. Whatever her thoughts are on the matter, you’ll never know for sure until you ask.
Maybe you enjoy seducing a girl into sex and then moving on to something else? Oral sex is a very intimate activity, so if you want to spice up your sex life with it, devote enough time and attention to it.
2.6 Understand that oral sex isn’t a one-way street. Men can also give their women pleasure with oral sex, so if you’re looking to spice up your sex life, be sure to indulge your girlfriend with oral sex. Incidentally, this is a great way not only to get her comfortable with oral sex but also to try something new in bed, and she doesn’t have to initiate it.
Never try to pressure a girl with arguments like, “I did it, now you have to give me pleasure too.” Not only is it disrespectful to her, but such a phrase will only reduce your chances of making oral sex a part of your intimate life.
3. Continue
3.1 Try to make sex a fun, enjoyable experience, not something you feel obligated to do. Ignore movies and videos that portray sex as a forced, aggressive act. In most cases, especially in healthy relationships, sex is often awkward but enjoyable for both partners. Keep sex simple and easy. Even if this seems like useless advice, believe me, people are willing to try new things when they no longer feel awkward and shy.
If you want something in a passionate moment, tell her! It’s the best way to build a comfortable, trusting relationship and improve your sex life.
If something goes wrong, just smile. If something funny or silly happens (like falling out of bed or something else), don’t be afraid to smile or laugh – it won’t ruin anything.
A happy sex life is a feeling of calm and enjoyment when each partner feels comfortable and can laugh and smile with their significant other.
3.2 Allow her to initiate oral sex after your conversation. Don’t force her to do what you’ve discussed. Never demand oral sex from her, don’t get upset, and don’t ask for it directly or brazenly, especially if you feel it’s about to happen. You’ve already expressed your opinion, and she’s expressed hers, so there’s no point in pressing her now. As soon as she’s ready, she’ll do what you want.
If you’ve already discussed the role of oral sex in your intimate life, but several weeks or even months have passed since then and nothing has changed, you need to return to this conversation at the right time.
3.3 Try to gradually integrate oral sex into your sex life; don’t focus all your attention on it. It shouldn’t be all about oral sex. A good way to get her comfortable with oral sex is to make it foreplay, and then move on to the positions you usually enjoy the most. This step will help you reach the next level; she’ll understand what she likes best and be willing to compromise.
3.4 Let her take control, choosing the pace and position that feels most comfortable. She should feel completely safe. If you hold her hair or head during oral sex, she should know you’re in control and won’t hurt her in the heat of passion. Holding your girlfriend’s hair or supporting her head is perfectly normal, but it should be done gently and calmly.
It’s normal for your girlfriend to quickly become very uncomfortable and want to stop. Remember, don’t rush things at first, especially if your girlfriend isn’t particularly fond of oral sex.
3.5 After sex, ask her what she liked and what she’d like to try next time. Of course, this isn’t a debriefing, and you don’t need to have this conversation after every sex session (you’ll get bored quickly), but you should feel comfortable discussing your sex life. After sex, when you’re lounging on the bed and cuddling, you can ask her what she liked. Try to find out what she didn’t quite like, keeping the conversation light. You’re a couple, and you probably discuss dinner sometimes, so you should discuss intimate topics just as freely.
If your girlfriend hasn’t performed oral sex before, tell her what you enjoyed. Silence on your part could signal to her that you’re unhappy with something, that she wasn’t able to please you. This could make her reluctant to perform oral sex next time.
3.6 Remember that oral sex is a very intimate experience, and it may take time for your partner to get used to it. If you approach this with love, trust, openness, and understanding, oral sex will become a pleasurable experience for both of you. Remember that your sex life is an integral part of your relationship, and you can enrich it by paying enough attention to it. Continue to discuss intimate topics, be open, love, and support each other, and you will both be happy.
Remember that you were honest with her, so don’t take it personally. If she turned you down or made it clear she’s not ready for oral sex yet, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. Trust her, respect her opinion, and try to compromise together without making a scene.
Differing attitudes toward oral sex aren’t a reason to break up with someone, but complete sexual incompatibility is a very compelling reason. So make sure you’re both willing to listen to your partner’s perspective and make concessions.
3.7 Understand that your partner may not enjoy oral sex or want to engage in it. Different people have different views on sex. Remember that even though you’ve discussed it with her and followed all the advice above, that doesn’t mean she’ll definitely engage in oral sex with you anytime soon. The same goes for you. If she suggests something you don’t particularly enjoy, you won’t want to do it, even if she’s asked nicely. So respect her decision. She’s under no obligation to perform oral sex on you just because you want to.
4. Give her pleasure
4.1 Oral sex is a mutual activity; find out how she feels about enjoying it too. When you talk about oral sex, don’t focus solely on your own desires. You’re a couple, and you both share a responsibility to ensure that each of you enjoys sex. In other words, you need to find out what she enjoys when you talk about oral sex.
“Do you like it when I go lower?”
“What do you think we can do to make sex even more enjoyable?”
“I’d like to try oral sex with you, what do you think?”
4.2 Let her lead the conversation and listen to her needs and desires first. It’s not time to talk about yourself and your desires yet. In oral sex, one partner usually provides pleasure to the other by relaxing and caressing them. But this doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the process too (of course you can!). Your partner’s pleasure should be your primary concern (as long as you don’t have to push yourself to do so).
If a woman feels uncomfortable and refuses oral sex, ask her if there’s a reason. Women often mistakenly believe that the vagina is something “shameful” and “dirty” and don’t believe that men enjoy giving them oral sex. Reassure her that she’s wrong.
Is there anything she likes? Or any activities she doesn’t like?
4.3 Be discreet but honest when talking about your desires and concerns, and maintain self-control. If you want her to be honest about her feelings, you must be open with her too. Not everyone enjoys oral sex, and that’s okay—that’s why you need to talk about it. To help her get used to oral sex, you need to be confident and calm. This means communicating what you didn’t like about oral sex and what you’d like to do more often.
What are the boundaries that are best not to cross?
What else would you like to try?
How do you feel about oral sex?
4.4 To make things more comfortable, make oral sex foreplay. Pressure and trying to get pleasure from oral sex alone isn’t a good idea, especially if you’re just starting out. Therefore, it’s better to include oral sex in foreplay before moving on to your favorite positions. You’ll both be more likely to experiment and try new oral sex styles if more than one partner does all the work.
4.5 Pay attention to how she feels. Only she can tell you whether something feels good, so listen to her! Reassure her that you won’t be offended if she wants to try something different, because experimentation is the only way to find out what she likes best. Also, it’s crucial to understand her reaction when you do something she enjoys—this will help you focus on making sure she enjoys it too.
Listen to her voice, her moans, and pay attention to her body language. Focus not only on yourself, but on her as well.
If you see that she doesn’t really like talking during sex or discussing her feelings, try a different approach: perhaps when she likes something, she strokes your head or back, and when she doesn’t like something, she lightly pats you on the shoulder.
If you think she enjoys something you’re doing, keep going! Pleasuring your partner isn’t a game of chess—just do what she enjoys!
4.6 Before trying anything, always ask her opinion, especially if it’s your first time. New positions, experiments, and new techniques are all an integral part of your intimate life, but they shouldn’t come as a shock to her. Don’t ask her opinion, interrupting the sexual mood. You can ask during foreplay or during intimate conversations (for example, “I really want to ____. How about that, baby?”). Consent is essential between lovers, and it’s not just a frank conversation. It also helps maintain stability during sex. So, if you want to spice up your intimate life with oral sex, talk about it first:
“Do you want to try ________?”
“Should I continue?”
“I want _______. Tell me if you don’t like it!”
4.7 After you finish having sex, ask her what she enjoyed most. For example, you can start the discussion with something you thought was quite good, such as, “Did you enjoy it when I _____?” or “Do you want me to do ____ more often?” Don’t press her if she can’t answer; she may have been too caught up in the act to think about what she liked. But these questions are a good way to show that you care about her pleasure.
Adviсe
Always take care of yourself and maintain personal hygiene. If you constantly neglect personal hygiene, your partner will certainly be concerned about cleanliness.
Remember, your girlfriend (wife) is not a porn star. Actresses who star in porn are professionals, but your girlfriend is nothing like that. So, don’t expect her to be everything you see in porn.
Although oral sex is safer than other forms of sexual intercourse, it can still transmit sexually transmitted diseases (STIs). These diseases (STIs) can be transmitted through bodily fluids.
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