Numerous studies and articles have been devoted to the study of sexual abstinence, but the controversy surrounding this topic continues.

There are absolutely opposite points of view.

1. Opponents of sexual abstinence argue that it is unnatural for men and dangerous to their health and psyche.
2. Supporters cite the development of spirituality and conservation of energy, which are practiced by monks.

Whose side is right? Or is everyone right to some extent? This is what we will find out in this article. It will examine the concept and types of abstinence, the arguments of those who support and oppose sexual abstinence, and also explore the male perspective.

THE CONCEPT AND TYPES OF ABSTINENCE

So what is sexual abstinence, exactly? Simply put, abstinence is the renunciation of sex, and it’s worth noting that abstinence can be involuntary or conscious.

There could be many reasons:

• Moral beliefs, such as abstaining from sex before marriage.
• Being in places of deprivation of liberty.
• Abstinence before medical procedures.
• Religious beliefs (taking a vow of celibacy).
• Asexuality.
• Psychological barriers.

Involuntary abstinence occurs due to one or another external reason, be it law or constraint.

Conscious abstinence is the voluntary renunciation of sexual relations for any reason. Its main difference from forced abstinence is that it is a matter of one’s own will and desire.

RESEARCH

Brian Gilmartin devoted to his study to involuntary abstinence. It involved nearly three hundred men of various ages who, due to shyness and difficulties interacting with the opposite sex, remained virgins. Gilmartin called these men “love-shy,” meaning those suffering from severe, chronic shyness.

The researcher didn’t rule out the possibility that this could happen to people of any gender or age, but believed that only heterosexual men suffer from it to a greater degree. The psychologist concluded in his study that involuntary abstinence of this kind can lead to various mental illnesses, depression, and suicidal tendencies.

However, Brian Gilmartin’s assertions have been criticized. They all center on the term “involuntary.” Many believe the term is inappropriate, since a person, for example, does not engage in paid sexual services for whatever reason, meaning their abstinence can be considered conscious. But is it appropriate to use this term in a situation where a man has been sexually inexperienced for a long time due to high expectations of a potential partner?

At the moment, the topic is not fully studied; those who have not experienced the problem of involuntary abstinence themselves do not take it seriously.

A study by Denise Donnelly and Elizabeth Burgess is also intriguing. The study involved 22 women and 60 men who had not had sexual intercourse for more than six months. They were divided into three groups:

1. Those who have not had sexual experience.
2. Those who have been in sexual relationships but are not currently in one.
3. Couples who, for various reasons, do not engage in sexual intercourse.

The researchers concluded that the first two groups had self-esteem or self-consciousness issues, often stemming from adolescence. The third group had no such issues, but for various reasons, their sexual activity fizzled out over time.

As a result, it was concluded that involuntary abstinence leads to mental disorders, anger and depression.

THE HARM OF SEXUAL ABSTINENCE

Opponents of sexual abstinence claim that abstaining from sex leads to deteriorating physical and mental health, depression, urinary problems, and even impotence. Abstinence prevents the release of sex hormones, leading to an excess of them in the body. This, in turn, affects a man’s psyche, making him more irritable, and sometimes even leading to mental illness.

A man may become less confident in himself and his attractiveness. Abstinence can lead to a decreased libido and a complete lack of interest in sex. And the older a man gets, the more serious the consequences of abstaining from sex become. It is believed that if a man over 40, whether forced or voluntarily, abstains from sexual intercourse, he risks serious health problems.

For normal male reproductive function, oxygenation is essential. This typically occurs during erections and ejaculation. Age plays a significant role here. Young men often resolve this issue through morning erections, but in older men, it becomes a problem, leading to clogged blood vessels, which can lead to dysfunction.

Also, during abstinence, excess sperm accumulates in the body. In young men, sexual arousal increases. Initially, the body will cope with this through nocturnal emissions (involuntary ejaculation), a phenomenon named after Tarkhanov. However, as the body adjusts, sperm may become less motile, which in turn can lead to infertility. In older men, libido decreases to avoid exhausting the body; this phenomenon is known as the Belov phenomenon.

BENEFITS OF SEXUAL ABSTINENCE

In response to arguments against this position, those who disagree with this position cite the example of monks who have committed celibacy but are still completely healthy, or athletes.

The latter often practice abstinence from sexual intercourse before competitions. It is believed that this prevents a man from wasting energy, which allows him to perform at his best later. In general, in such cases, permanent abstinence is not necessary. During abstinence, testosterone levels in the blood increase, which leads to a faster response time for athletic performance. Before age 30, testosterone levels peak on the third day of abstinence; after age 30, on the seventh day. There is no point in abstaining for a longer period, as testosterone levels then drop and return to normal.

Highly spiritual people consider sexual energy to be quite powerful, and therefore, abstaining from sex can help channel this energy elsewhere. By sublimating sexual energy into other areas of their lives, a man can achieve great success. Tibetan monks have achieved great results in this area.

Many world religions practice celibacy for clergy. In Catholicism, it was adopted in the sixth century and has been practiced since the eleventh.

Another argument for abstinence is that this way you can strengthen your relationship and prove the seriousness of your intentions.

THE TRUTH IS SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE

When faced with such a controversial topic, it’s important to remember that extremes are far more dangerous. Sexual relations are certainly dictated by nature; they are a part of who we are. Each person has their own sexual needs and sexual constitution (sexual temperament). For some, having sex once a year is enough, while for others, it’s necessary every week.

SURVEY/REVIEWS

For clarity, a survey of males of various ages was conducted. Here’s what respondents had to say on this topic:

• Danila, 19: When I don’t have sex, I become more aggressive and irritable, and I get worked up over trivial things. But after sex, I immediately become kinder, which is immediately noticeable to those around me.
• Egor, 30 years old: I need sex at least once a week, but if suddenly this doesn’t happen, I feel less tolerant, and my mood worsens.
• Andrey, 39: When you’ve been married for a long time, you have sex less often. You’re used to it.

Therefore, it is more important not to argue about whether sexual abstinence is harmful or not, but to understand and accept your sexual constitution and build your sexual relationships depending on this, because there are no categories of “right or wrong” here.

CONCLUSION

1. There is no clear answer to this debate, not because this issue has been little studied, but because each person, whether man or woman, decides this question for themselves.
2. It’s important to listen to your body and its needs. The deciding factor in whether or not to have sex should be a person’s comfort and desires.
3. There’s no direct evidence that abstaining from sex will necessarily lead to health problems, but nothing good will come from ignoring your needs and desires.
4. Lack of sex won’t make you crazy, but having a regular sex life makes a man more confident, calm, and contented, and it also helps prevent many diseases related to the genitals.
5. To be healthy and happy, a person needs to accept themselves and not be ashamed of their nature. There’s no such thing as a “normal” in this regard; everyone has their own.
6. It is up to a person to decide whether to have sex or not.

Love yourself and each other.