But reading only about happiness, fidelity, and death in one day is simply boring. Where are the developments and life’s obstacles? People with broken hearts have contributed more to human culture than happy people. And if fate so happens that a person separates, the break should be final. It’s easy to say, but what to do with the longing for a former lover? Sometimes this feeling is so oppressive that you long to return to the old relationship, to feel the warmth of your loved one again, to wake up in the same bed with them. But these feelings are driven not by love, but by something else.Reasons why you want sex with your ex
I just want sex
A lack of sex is equivalent to a hormonal surge. Such upheaval in the body can trigger strange thoughts about getting everything back together and living even happier with your ex. This is all the cunning game of an unsatisfied body. Even if sex was great in a previous relationship, that’s no reason to stay with that person forever. After all, the ex might be against such a relationship. Then the fragments of your heart will be shattered into dust, so why torture yourself? A trip to a sex shop or simple masturbation will be much more beneficial than getting back with your ex.
I’d like to put an end to this
Left unsaid during a breakup, a long, overly emotional breakup can leave a feeling of incompleteness. You want to finish the job and put an end to it, and women often think that goodbye sex is the perfect way to end it. No, it’s not! This will only further complicate and prolong the breakup, causing additional stress and anxiety. A final, heart-to-heart talk is exactly what’s needed in this situation.
The brain lacks oxytocin
The hormone oxytocin (or the hormone of emotional attachment) is released during orgasm. Its acute lack is difficult to understand. But it wouldn’t hurt to try to relieve sexual tension. You may be fully aware that your ex is completely out of your sight and that he’s not the person you want, but you can’t control your body. The brain remembers those positive emotions you experienced and wants them again.
I want to smooth things out
This desire is common after the end of a long-term relationship, when you have mutual friends, things, pets, and perhaps even shared a rented apartment. You want to do everything gently and delicately. It’s very painful to suddenly burn bridges after several years together.
Loneliness gnaws at me
Exes seem like trusted people (if you’re only talking about sex). They know their partner’s erogenous zones and preferences. The pull them toward is out of habit and the feeling that another love might never happen. These are very toxic thoughts; you need to push them away, go out, meet friends, take up something you’ve been putting off for a long time—in short, distract yourself from loneliness in any way possible.
Trying to prolong the relationship
Having sex in the hopes of prolonging the relationship or even renewing it is a mistake. A man may simply take advantage of a woman’s naivety, treating her like a mistress—to put it bluntly, using her body—and starting a relationship with someone else. Will his former partner be able to live with this? Most likely not. This is sex out of pity, it’s self-deception. And this type of relationship is pathetic in itself.
The best decision for partners who have firmly decided to separate is to separate without scandals, without farewell dates, without forgotten things (cherishing the hope of a return), without farewell sex.
Yes, getting over a breakup takes time. It’s stressful, it’s a trauma that needs to be worked through, maybe even a bit of crying and breaking some dishes. But not goodbye sex with your ex. That will only complicate things and waste time that could be spent recuperating from the breakup, pursuing your lifelong dreams, and realizing your own fulfillment.Report content on this page
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