But does how much sex a person has really matter? Perhaps the quality of sex—how good the sex in a relationship is—is more important?
We often associate the word “more” with the concept of “better.” When we reason this way, we are deeply mistaken. In many cases, it is precisely frequent sexual relations that are the most unsatisfactory.
The concept of sex is much broader than simple intercourse. Unfortunately, that’s what many people mean when they talk about sex. But there are other factors to consider.
Why is good sex so important?
We feel more satisfied not because we have more sex. Sometimes, frequent sex becomes a boring routine and stops being enjoyable.
So what do we mean by good sex? What are its characteristics? We’ll give you a few examples:
- Sexual intercourse must be accompanied by communication between partners. This makes it easier for them to explain their desires to each other. This helps ensure good sex.
- In sex, you need to be generous, and this generosity should be reciprocated. Don’t remain passive; you should try to do everything possible to ensure your partner’s pleasure.
Of course, all this should bring pleasure and not be limited to simple effort.
- To enhance sex, it’s recommended to create a pleasant and comfortable environment. When we feel uncomfortable, we fail to truly enjoy sexual intercourse.
- Don’t neglect foreplay. Good sex is impossible without it. Kissing, hugging, and caressing enhance the pleasure of intimacy.
- During intercourse, both partners must be on the same wavelength. Even if partners do everything possible for each other, the lack of this sense of connection prevents them from fully satisfying their intimate relationship.
- Trust plays an equally important role in intimacy. It helps us overcome fears, shame, and other barriers that prevent us from relaxing and enjoying sex.
Sex and happiness
During the study, the results of which were published in the Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization , experts examined the relationship between sexual relationships and happiness.
To do this, an experiment was conducted involving 64 couples aged 35 to 65. Half of them were instructed to continue having sex as usual, with their usual frequency. The other half were instructed to increase the frequency of their sexual encounters.
As a result, the researchers concluded that increasing the number of sexual relationships did not make couples happier.
Perhaps this was because they weren’t given time for their sexual desire to develop spontaneously. So, with each encounter, the couples found themselves becoming less and less eager to make love.
This study made it clear that having more intimate relationships does not make us happier or allow us to enjoy sex more.
Therefore, it’s essential to focus on the quality of your sexual relationship. This is where the key to sexual satisfaction lies.
This can’t be planned.
Over time, partners may become concerned about a significant decrease in the frequency of sexual intercourse.
In this case, some couples agree to have sex on specific days, which turns sex into a routine.
Gradually, this becomes a real problem. Some couples begin to hate sex, which becomes a chore.
Sexual desire should develop spontaneously; it shouldn’t be regulated or forced into rigid boundaries. It’s similar to a mealtime routine, where we eat not because we’re hungry, but because it’s lunchtime.
As a result, even delicious dishes lose their joy, and we’re plagued by a heavy stomach. Of course, we’ve lost all pleasure from the food, and eating has become an unpleasant chore we’re forced to perform against our will.
Every couple is a whole world. Who said you have to have sex once a week? Why is it considered harmful to have sex once a month?
Never compare your relationship to others. Never force a sexual relationship to follow a specific rhythm. This can have the opposite effect.
Look for quality in sex, not quantity. Ultimately, the most important thing in an intimate relationship is pleasure, joy, and satisfaction, and these concepts are unique to each of us.
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