What is hypersexuality?
Doctors call hypersexuality a constant, strong, and poorly controlled desire for sex.
This condition has other names: hypersexual disorder, sexual addiction, and obsessive sexual behavior. Or, to put it another way: female hypersexuality is commonly called nymphomania (although some specialists find this term derogatory), and male hypersexuality is called satyriasis.
Sexual urges are more common than you might think: 3 to 6% of adults experience them at some point in their lives.
Whatever the term, it’s all about the same thing: an excessively high libido, a preoccupation with sexual experiences and fantasies, and a constant feeling of sexual dissatisfaction. The hypersexual desires intimacy so much and suffers so much when they can’t get it that it ruins their social and personal lives.
The dangers of hypersexuality
Here are just a few of the unpleasant consequences of sex addiction.
- Constant feelings of guilt, shame, low self-esteem.
- Promiscuity in relationships, readiness for sex with almost any partner.
- Increased risk of becoming infected with HIV, hepatitis B, or another sexually transmitted infection (STI).
- The need to lie to a regular partner and family, the destruction of significant connections.
- Financial debts that accumulate due to the purchase of pornography or sexual services.
- Development of other mental disorders: depression, anxiety disorder, suicidal tendencies.
- Legal problems caused by uncontrolled sexual behavior.
How to recognize hypersexuality
If you regularly, or even, in your opinion, too often, desire sex with your regular partner, it doesn’t mean you have a disorder. The need for physical intimacy is a normal part of life for a healthy person. But only as long as the desire for intimacy doesn’t go beyond the pale.
Nymphomania or satyriasis can be suspected based on the following symptoms:
- You have recurring and intense sexual fantasies and desires that take up a lot of your time. For example, you watch porn for a couple of hours or masturbate several times a day.
- You tried to restrain yourself, but it didn’t work out well.
- When you give in to the impulse, you feel relief, but at the same time, guilt or remorse.
- You resort to sexual activity whenever you’re nervous. It’s become a way for you to relieve stress.
- Sexual fantasies interfere with your activities or daily responsibilities.
- You continue to follow your sexual desires even when you realize they’re harmful. For example, you agree to casual sex without a condom. Or you watch porn during work hours, even though you’ve already been warned that the next time you engage in it, you’ll be fired.
- You realize that you need too much sex – much more than other people.
- You have serious problems on the personal front: you cannot establish and maintain long-term relationships.
The more of these symptoms, the more likely a diagnosis of “obsessive sexual behavior” is. A doctor will be able to diagnose hypersexuality if these symptoms persist for more than six months.
Where does hypersexuality come from?
The World Health Organization classifies excessive sexual desire as a mental and behavioral disorder. However, scientists have not yet determined the nature of nymphomania and satyriasis.
Some view hypersexuality as a consequence of an extremely high libido, caused by some kind of “glitch” in the brain. This can be either an innate trait or an acquired one—due to drastic hormonal changes. For example, this could explain sexual addiction in adolescence.
Other researchers suggest that hypersexuality is a behavioral disorder. They attribute it to a person’s discrimination to control their impulsive impulses for certain reasons. This could be due to neurological problems, simple pampering, or an obstacle to find other ways to cope with stress.
How to treat hypersexuality
The dual nature of sex addiction can make choosing a treatment challenging. It’s not entirely clear what exactly needs to be addressed: the behavioral or, for example, the abnormal hormonal activity responsible for increased libido. Therefore, treatment is tailored individually.
The best place to start is with a therapist. This specialist can help you deal with behavioral issues.
With the help of psychotherapy
Three types of psychotherapy are considered the most effective in this case.
- Cognitive behavioral therapy. This therapy aims to identify negative thoughts and situations that overwhelm you with sexual frustration and fantasies, and to learn to replace them with calmer, more positive ones.
- Acceptance and Responsibility Therapy. It helps you accept yourself as you are, with all your desires and thoughts. It helps you see yourself as a whole, from the outside. Recognize yourself as an observer, understanding and empathetic, and from this perspective, learn to guide your actions so that they don’t conflict with your moral values.
- Psychodynamic therapy. Based on classical psychoanalysis—conversations with a therapist—you can understand the deep motives behind your actions and the triggers of unconscious behavior. Then, with this information, you’ll learn to control your impulses.
With the help of medications
Psychotherapy may be supplemented by certain medications. These may include:
- Antidepressants. Their purpose is to help cope with anxiety and impulsivity.
- Drugs used to treat alcohol or drug addiction. They block the part of your brain that derives pleasure from certain behaviors (in this case, sexual ones).
- Mood stabilizers. These medications are typically used to treat bipolar disorder, but they can also reduce the frequency of sexual urges.
- Antiandrogens. These medications reduce the effects of androgens in men. Because these medications reduce sexual desire, they are often used for men whose overly active sexual behavior poses a risk to others.
Remember: as with any mental or behavioral disorder, overcoming hypersexuality on your own is nearly impossible. Therefore, consult a therapist (or encourage a loved one to schedule an appointment if you observe dangerous symptoms). The sooner you do this, the quicker and easier it will be to return to a normal life, free from unnecessary anxiety and destructive fantasies.
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