A liberated woman, ready to receive and give pleasure, always treats herself with unconditional love.
Social media and mass media promote the image of the ideal beauty, whose anatomy is often so retouched that models’ knees actually disappear in photos! This sometimes reaches the point of absurdity: for example, in 2016, Instagram deleted a photo of a young Sam Newman in lingerie due to the unsightly appearance of her extremely plump body. This ideal of appearance is so ingrained in women’s minds that it becomes an obstacle to a successful sex life.
Imperfect breasts
No other part of a woman’s body attracts as many male gazes as breasts. They arouse, excite, provoke erotic fantasies, and even trigger a persistent erection. Women also have plenty of strong feelings about breasts, but with a negative connotation: asymmetrical, sagging, too small, too large, inverted nipples—all of this forces these poor ladies to literally hide their bodies during sex.
A participant in the British TV show “Why Do I Have This Body?”, Leah is so self-conscious about her breasts that she never removes her bra during intimate encounters and refuses to let her partners touch her. She has pronounced breast asymmetry: one breast is a C-cup, the other a C-cup, and is quite saggy. Dissatisfaction with her sex life and her insecurities prompted Leah to resort to plastic surgery.
Interestingly, numerous surveys of men show that they would not refuse intimacy with a woman whose breasts are far from ideal, if they are otherwise satisfied with their partner.
Vulva not like in porn
Beauty ideals have also affected intimate parts of the body: women are now embarrassed by the appearance of their vulva if it’s not as perfect as in porn. The labia minora should be pink and completely hidden between the labia majora. Pornographic publications airbrush their models if their labia are asymmetrical and have brown edges, which is, in fact, completely normal.
Young men, whose perception of the female body is formed through pornography due to a lack of real-life experience, are sometimes shocked: for example, one mature woman shared online the revelations of her son, who felt disgusted after real-life intimacy with a girl whose vulva was far from his idea of beauty.
Women should remind themselves that their bodies are perfect machines for sensual play, and a loving and sensitive man will always treat a woman’s vagina with tenderness and delicacy. Men, however, should keep in mind that, in essence, a woman isn’t embarrassed by her body, but by the possibility of her partner’s insensitivity.
Excess weight, cellulite
Excess weight is one of the most common complexes that makes women tense up in bed. Sex in complete darkness under the covers, avoiding certain positions, and completely rejecting experimentation—all of this becomes commonplace for a woman who is self-conscious about her weight. A woman may be horrified by a situation in which her partner pins her down with his weight or squeezes her thigh with his hand, making the cellulite on her skin more prominent and obvious.
Sexologists unanimously agree that women’s concerns are completely unfounded: if a man has chosen her, his sexual desire is unlikely to be dampened by some measly cellulite. Furthermore, men often note the pronounced feminine features of plus-size women (protruding buttocks, breasts) as an undeniable advantage.
Unshaven legs and crotch
How many young men have been turned down for intimacy simply because their girlfriend didn’t have time to shave her legs or wax her pubic area before a date! A girl would rather come up with a dozen excuses than admit she’s embarrassed by her lush body hair. Interestingly, this is also a characteristic of the modern era – women of the Soviet era didn’t wax their legs or pubic areas, yet they felt wonderful in bed with their beloved man.
Modest experience in bed
Sexual ineptitude is largely a male concern, although women also experience it. Women’s shyness is more often associated with difficulty achieving orgasm and the overall ability to enjoy physical intimacy. “A log” is the most common epithet men use to describe such partners. The need to fake orgasm impoverishes both a woman’s emotional and sexual life.
An overly strict upbringing steeped in prudish morality, an insensitive partner, or a lack of acceptance of one’s own body—the reasons for this are many. Sexologists recommend that the first step to understanding one’s sexuality is to get to know one’s genitals: examine your vulva in a mirror, touch your labia and clitoris, and understand what kind of touch you enjoy most and emotions what it evokes. Masturbation is an indispensable tool for both women and men in enhancing sensuality.
Couples who value each other will always find a warm word and affection to encourage each other and help them embrace self-acceptance and liberate themselves in intimate play. Sensitivity and care are the best aphrodisiacs.
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