The missionary position is one of the most famous sex positions.

Some people love it, others associate it with boredom, routine, and a lack of imagination. What do men think about during sex in this position?

1. Wow, great! We’re having sex! Honestly, that’s usually the only clear thought we have during sex. Heck, an hour afterward, we’re probably thinking something like, “I had sex.” Little do we know, though, that you can get stuck in this position for a long time; it’s the ultimate bear trap.
2. Are we going to be in this position all the time? This position is basically fine. It’s great, but you know, there are better ones.
3. I won’t crush you? I know you’re not afraid of that, but I think you should be. I thought about it for a moment, and now I keep feeling like you hate me since I’m on top.
4. My chest is sweaty, but the rest of my body is cold. I’m serious. We’ve been doing this for so long that we’re both sweaty, and I’m getting a chill on my back because you threw off the blanket.
5. You clearly don’t like the way my balls slap against your ass. Even I find it annoying. I’m thinking about creating a ball strap specifically designed for sex.
6. You know, we can have sex in a different position. Any position at all. Let’s, for example, switch places. It will be different. Oh, please.
7. I could end up like this, but it won’t happen. We’re both above it.
8. I have to do everything. I’m already starting to get tired. And even if you try to do anything down there, the only thing you’ll get is crotch presses with the weight of my entire body.
9. Are you okay? You’re not moving. I can’t tell you’re in a coma because we’re in missionary position right now.
10. Why didn’t we just pet? Neither of us would have had to work hard, and we would both have enjoyed it.
11. Why don’t you admit defeat? Just look me in the eyes and tell me you’re tired.
12. Stop trying to kiss me. I can’t have sex and hold my head up high enough for you to kiss me.
13. Okay, so that’s it. I’d say it was the most boring sex on the planet, but I won’t say that, otherwise I’d give it a degree of superiority. This is probably how my parents have sex. Wonderful! I’m naked and thinking about my parents!