But everything can be learned, and everything can be corrected—if only there’s the desire and the understanding of where to start. Let’s give you an example from one married couple: Marina, 24, and Konstantin, 29, have been together for three years, married for a year, and have an 18-month-old son.
“We started talking,” says Marina.
Marina: “To be honest, at first we weren’t very satisfying in bed. We had sex often, but I didn’t feel anything special, and I don’t think Kostya felt anything special either. Maybe it was because the first year everything happened at my home, in what was still my childhood room, and I kept thinking: Mom will come in any minute… Besides, I had little experience. Kostya gradually introduced me to my own body. And this “acquaintance” took two or three years. But it was worth it: we learned to understand and feel each other. Probably what helped us most was that I plucked up the courage to say what I wanted. But then, while making love, I started whispering to him: “To the right, to the left, faster, slower…” I felt like he needed help. How can a man know exactly where your clitoris is? He allowed me to guide him, without losing faith in my own abilities and skills And soon I experienced my first truly deep orgasm likes saved for the last days of my pregnancy. Then, when my son was born, I had no desire at all for a while, and my husband respected my feelings. But about three months later, everything returned—and even brighter and stronger than before. Motherhood opened me up. During labor, I “discovered” muscles that I hadn’t known existed before. And I realized that simply by squeezing and relaxing them for a few minutes, I could already achieve orgasm. Now the pleasure has become much stronger, even powerful.” – How often do you hear such successful examples? Not as often as I would like, I think. And all because someone doesn’t talk about them, prefers to remain silent, because society tends to think that everything should be perfect all at once—but, unfortunately, that’s often not the case. You also don’t hear such examples because people don’t try to understand and listen to each other, but get offended, put their ego above all else, forget about “you” and think about “themselves.” Let’s find out what Kostya’s side of things is like?
“We found our rhythm, and I finally understood how to behave with her in bed,” Konstantin admits.
Konstantin: “As soon as I met Marina, I knew I was going to get serious with her. And that’s probably why I couldn’t figure out how to act in bed with her for a long time. She seemed so perfect and good to me, I was afraid to touch her. I was used to one-night stands, but here… You could say the stakes were too high: I was nervous, I felt constrained. We love very calmly, even madely. Everything changed when she started telling me how to caress her. This, of course, was a shock for me. I even felt a little hurt, but I held back. And the next time I tried to follow her “instructions” exactly. The result was incredible! She enjoyed herself so much that I was delighted: both for her and for myself, because I was able to make a girl feel so good. From then on, it turned into a game for both of us. Our sex became wild and passionate. And giving her pleasure was like a prize for the winner. Well, I’ve also learned to ask her for some things to force her, but to actually ask. There’s still a lot I’d like to try with her, like anal sex. But I tell myself it will all come gradually. I believe we’re together forever, and there has to be something left over for future sexual discoveries, right? After all, we’ve already made great progress. We’re enjoying ourselves much more now than we did in the beginning, and we feel much more confident in bed. And we both have no intention of stopping. I think you should always be optimistic in sex.”
Discovering each other
What’s so wonderful about this young couple’s story? They’re a clear example of the results of working on yourself and your intimate life. The result of genuine love and desire, responsiveness, and the ability to understand and listen to your partner. You’re having sex together, so you should do it together—disclosing where you enjoy it most, sharing which positions and how you like it best, elevating sex a notch, making it more fulfilling and sensual.
The immutable rules are:
- Talk about your desires
- Be open about what you like and what you don’t enjoy.
- Don’t be afraid to talk during the process. Don’t be embarrassed by your own sounds.
- Be attentive to your partner, never set them up for anything, try to offer and interest them, rather than give ultimatums
- Listen to each other. Be more forgiving and understanding, and don’t take offense at requests and corrections.
- Into sex – with an empty head
- Try new things, learn from each other
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