Let’s be clear: there’s nothing to envy here. Sex records rarely bring pleasure, and they’re usually achieved out of greed.
1. The fastest change of sex partners
American porn actress Lisa Sparxxx (stage name Sparxxx) is known as the record holder for the most sex she’s had. In 2004, she won a sex marathon, having sex with 919 men in 12 hours. Each encounter lasted an average of 45 seconds.
2. Most frequent sex with one partner
The undisputed leader is not rabbits, as many believe, but male Australian scaly-sided crickets (Ornebius aperta). According to biologists from the Royal Society of London, these insects are capable of having sex with the same partner 50 times in 3-4 hours.
This number is justified by the cricket’s desire to increase its chances of becoming a father. The fact is, females can have up to 40 partners during their sexual life. They also have a habit of squeezing out their sperm and eating it after sex. So, they have to start all over again.
3. The strongest penis
In 1995, Hong Kong martial artist Mo Ka Wang managed to lift 120 kg of weight 60 cm off the ground and 60 cm higher. Not everyone can do this, even with two hands. Mr. Wang, however, accomplished the feat with just his erect penis.
4. The longest penis
For a long time, the blue whale held the record for length. As expected, the largest mammal also has a rather large penis, measuring nearly 3 meters in length and 30 cm in diameter. Curiously, when not in use, the penis is neatly coiled into an S-shaped loop and stored within the whale. When needed, it can be protruded through the genital slit.
In 2015, wildlife photographer Mariano Jedrzejewski captured the mating rituals of southern right whales. The 4-meter-long phallus captured in the frame left no doubt who the true champion was.
In the human world, the title of the longest penis has been held since 1999 by American actor and TV host Jonah Falcon. When erect, his penis reaches 34 cm. The record holder complains of severe dizziness during erections, as too much blood rushes to his penis. Jonah willed that his penis be donated to the Icelandic Phallus Museum—after his death, of course.
5. Most penises in one person
One in 5.5 million men worldwide is born with a rare anomaly—diphallia, or a bifurcated penis. Only in rare cases are both organs equal and functioning normally. The extra appendage is usually removed at an early age.
The author of “Double-Headed: My Life with Two Penises,” who writes under the pseudonym Diphallic Dude, was lucky. His parents, having received their unusual baby, decided to leave things as they were. After all, both phalluses were good. He lost his virginity with his right penis, but over time, he learned to use his left one as well. He also realized he was equally interested in both men and women.
6. Largest natural breasts
Guinness World Record holder Annie Hawkins-Turner has a bust measuring 177.8 cm. Each (!) breast of the American, according to various sources, weighs between 25 and 30 kg.
Annie has difficulty walking up stairs, can’t sleep on her back, and can only have sex on her side. After giving birth to two children, she gave up breastfeeding due to the high risk of suffocation.
Despite the discomfort, the woman flatly refuses to have her breasts surgically reduced. After all, it was this body part that made Annie a millionaire. The record-breaker starred in soft porn, worked as a model, and now runs her own website, gives lectures, and appears on various talk shows. Fans know her by the pseudonym Norma Stitz (a reference to “enormous tits”).
7. The greatest number of orgasms per day
236 orgasms a day—this dubious feat belongs to American Dale Decker. At the time of his record-breaking achievement in 2014, the 37-year-old father of two suffered from persistent sexual arousal disorder (PGAD). Dale developed the condition after a back injury. On average, he ejaculated 100 times a day, turning his life into a living hell of shame.
Things improved thanks to hormone therapy for gender reassignment. Dale is now named Christine, and her orgasm rate has dropped to a manageable eight per day. Incidentally, this change hasn’t destroyed the family. Her ex-husband remains faithful to his wife and the mother of their children.
8. Longest masturbation
The official Guinness World Record holder for masturbation is Japanese Masanobu Sato. In 2009, the Asian man continuously stimulated himself manually for 9 hours and 58 minutes at the annual Masturbate-a-thon championship in San Francisco. The winner shared the secret to his victory with the press: he practices for two hours daily—in full view of his girlfriend and (this is important) his cat.
9. The oldest virgin
British woman Clara Meadmore lived to 108 years old, retaining all her teeth, hair, sharp wit, and virginity to the end. She decided never to marry at the age of 12, and hasn’t revisited the matter since. Relationships seemed like a waste of time to Miss Meadmore: “I was always busy with other things.”
10. Longest erection
It lasted 44 hours, while a four-hour erection is a serious reason to see a doctor. The record was set in 1986 during a medical experiment conducted by British physiologist Giles Brindley. The scientist injected 17 different drugs into his penis, attempting to achieve the most lasting results.
Today, Brindley is remembered as a man who made a significant contribution to the treatment of erectile dysfunction. He is also remembered as an extraordinary lecturer. In 1983, the physiologist gave an hour-long talk at a conference of the American Urological Association. To convince his skeptical colleagues of the effectiveness of his findings, Brindley took off his pants and presented the audience with irrefutable evidence.
11. The most powerful ejaculation
A man named Horst Schultz holds the world record for the longest ejaculation. He ejaculated approximately 6 meters at a speed of approximately 43.5 miles per hour. For reference, the average ejaculation speed is approximately 11 miles per hour. Unfortunately, nothing else is known about the record holder.
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