To this day, self-gratification is often considered a manifestation of selfishness: when one partner gives themselves pleasure, the other is dissatisfied.

It’s a pity: from this “lonely” activity a pleasure for two can be born.

Today, masturbation is no longer as taboo as it once was. No one thinks it can drive you crazy or make you sick. In fact, sexologists claim it’s actually beneficial, as it allows you to get to know your body and thus promotes sexuality.

Approximately 90% of men and 60% of women have masturbated at some point, with the number of men masturbating increasing by 17% and women by 37% over the past 30 years.

But autoeroticism—the term psychoanalysts often use to describe masturbation—can still cause shock in front of a partner.

Masturbation doesn’t replace an awkward or inept partner—it’s simply one element of normal psychosexual behavior, one of many ways to hasten that “moment of final tremors.” Our bodies know what to do when they demand it!

Yet, in terms of pleasure, masturbation is inferior to regular sex with an intimate partner: it provides the greatest pleasure and the greatest release. Therefore, masturbation cannot replace therapeutic help for men and women experiencing sexual problems.

“In therapy, it can become a tool that helps us master the ‘technique’ of pleasure and pay more attention to our bodies and sensations,” says sexologist Mireille Bonnierbal. “If we don’t dare touch ourselves, what will help us understand how best to touch others? The more easily we treat our own bodies, the more generous we will be with ourselves and others.”

See the most intimate

Since men are much greater voyeurs than women, they are more likely to give masturbation an erotic meaning.

“With all the women I’ve loved, there always came a point when I asked them to masturbate in front of me,” confirms 32-year-old Kirill. “I love seeing them caress their breasts, stomachs, thighs, and then get to the most sensitive spots. No two women masturbate the same way, just as no two clitorises are the same.”

“It’s very beautiful, very exciting, and when I feel a woman is close to orgasm, I join my hand to hers so I can feel her pleasure on my fingertips. And then I penetrate her, quite quickly, and some women have two or three more orgasms in a row. It’s very exciting!”

Women can also enjoy watching their partners.

“During foreplay, I regularly masturbate in front of my wife,” admits 38-year-old Pavel. “It’s completely different from masturbating alone. It’s a real connection, we’re truly together, because her gaze is on me and because at some point I ask her to take over.”

And by the way, after watching me—even though she didn’t like it too much at first—my wife became much more skilled.”

Those who dare to indulge in such overtly narcissistic pleasure in front of another reveal something hidden, something deeply intimate. And this is precisely what, in love, can be called a precious gift…